is a word that I banished from my vocabulary, my world.
This word does not exist and is replaced by acceptance.
no illusions: this acceptance is difficult to tame. It is crying in the dark. This is not work on itself, nor the fact of habit, and it is something much stronger, and more strange, that it should take a long road, a dark corridor, dimly lighted, and leave behind a few small things. Drop these things in your pocket. By losing, we must say they have been forgotten. It's like that, they were dropped, they were forgotten.
Try not to go back because you can not remember exactly which door it took. Was it the left, the right one, the middle perhaps? We balance between the three, rocking on his toes like a boat. That thorny road that leads to destruction if we are not careful. The excitement is painful and the choice is mandatory.
When we take the left door, you realize that he had better take the right one, and as the flashback is over really possible, it is permanently lost. There are only two options: crying and crying for hours, sitting in a corner and say that since everything is lost, all stop there and wait, sitting like a poor sad doll, or , be violent, slap violently, and say they will not cut down too quickly, and they bravely take over the road, bleeding feet on the warm sand of the desert. This time it will take the right door, even if it meant taking the middle one. And we have the right to cry. And there will even be obliged to weep, or duty. Something like that. Something that has a name, but we do not know which one. Tears should
be the one offering to the dead, whoever they are, and especially not to make offerings to the dead, death of the soul and heart, and desire. Do not apologize to live then, even if love deserves death even if death is a gaping hole, a scar never healed, but the hole is filled and the scar does not heal. There will envy, after a moment, in the third or fourth loss, because you never get used, to finally let go, let sail, to give up. Anticipation is the worst, most painful. But the future does not exist, until, like Achilles, a decision that our death will be more important than our lives.
Or maybe, probably, already.
Above all, never, never say " take my heart and take my breath, and take my muscles, and take my bones I is not got no use .
