Saturday, January 17, 2009

Patch No Cd Morrowind

They are funny,

these needs to write.
A visceral need to shout something, write it by pressing hard on the mine. And then nothing happens.
Nothing, nothing, nada, and zero. While that step behind the temples and behind the rib cage and the hand that serves the pencil until it hurts. Usually, that's how it works. And yet, nothing happens, as if all the sap had been caught, or worse, torn from my womb. The gods answered me when I asked for a little rest. The gods do not want me to make my burden. Is it Pan? They took away the words and the urgency and there is more than empty, that is where we lost and where we are drowning and we're trying desperately to fill. Because it's gotta be a way. I was told that there was always a means. Where my gaze falls, I see only sadness and death or suspected, and then ...

These two photographs of Bernd Preiml me back in the Attic. Without him, I know how the story would have ended, the plunge in ice water. It must be cold this time of year. I like these purposes like an uppercut. When the expected, it provided the plunge.
So, an old house, and another sister, certainly less important than the other, called Merricat Blackwood. She lives in the moon too, she can talk to animals, especially cats, she knows her pocket as poisons, and at night it becomes perhaps a werewolf.


Merricat like it. And the house-castle, before it burns like this. The photographs of the living and the dead on the wall, some ghosts to shake our hands as a "good clock" rather than "good day", and then stuffed animal. I do not know if Merricat home, there was this bird, but with me yes. And it frightened me at night. I do not know who had this gift. Perhaps only when the moon will enlighten, he will live. Maybe he does need that the gaze to awaken. All these birds of many colors, ready to pounce on me and wrap me their shadows.

I remember the pleasure he is not out. Do not leave. Stay there. Forever, perhaps. I shut the door the evening double-turn. Sometimes I would never reopen. Except for forest walks. Or elsewhere, somewhere where the brain is consumed, if still possible anywhere else. I have dreams in my head. Do not wish a happy new year, because I do not care. Merricat often has the urge to spit on people. But as she is well educated, she is content to kill imagination. And she has the heart suddenly much lighter, having exterminated so many people. They can continue to hum along the way, this rhyme pretty and cruel, or force her to watch them, they no longer exist. And there's nothing worse for these people, to speak in a vacuum, without an ear to pour in their venom. It's maddening. Especially adults. Children forget.

Merricat once it closes the doors of the house, her and Constance, she smiled. She hugs him and tells him how much, but now they are happy. This little lady said that Constance is pretty and young, it deserves a revival. She deserves to go out and see the beautiful world and fall in love, because it is bound to fall in love. When I look at this woman who told me that she fell down dead. Which is a shame, a shame is that she does not know.
funny dream last night. I was fine. I walked alone, barefoot in the embers, and everything was nothing. It will not change much from the outside world, that some call the real. In this void, I would lose in passing a few things I like. It's like in games of chance. No more. Despite the courage and all that crap, vomit words. And be afraid of going to bed, then.

And then? That's life. That's life said
my grandmother. A kind of resignation that I liked. Because I was cruel, I liked the show sitting on her bed and say "that's life . And she looked down. That's life and how it is. Discouragement - the despair - in all its glory and I have eleven years.

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